I opened our front door to hear s.e.x noises coming from upstairs. I went up and found my wife at it in our bed with an ex-boyfriend.
They got the shock of their lives. I threw him out and she started to make excuses, saying it was a one-off and that he would not take no for an answer.
I got a different story when I later confronted him. He said it was a full-blown affair and had been going on for months.
I had guessed something was going on. S.e.x with my wife had dwindled to almost nothing. When we first got together six years ago, we had s.e.x several times a week.
I am 29, she is 27 and our daughter is three. Our relationship was fine until one evening she went out with friends and her ex was there.
She would never talk about him, though I heard they finished because she had cheated on him.
Since he showed up again I saw him lurking near our house more than once.
I also noticed my wife had changed. She was hiding her phone and distancing herself.
I suspected more and more that something was going on, so on a day our daughter was looked after by her grandmother I left work early and went home.
My worst fears were confirmed. I dumped her on the spot but she refuses to leave the house and has moved into the spare room.
She says she will not leave until we have sorted things out.
She has been trying to justify what she has done and make out it is my fault.
She says I did not show her enough love and affection but this is not true. Surely she has no divine right to stay?
DEIDRE SAYS: No, but depending on issues such as who owns your home, a court will look at what is best for your daughter.
They can decide it is best for a stay-at-home mum looking after a small child to stay put while a working dad moves out.
Of course it’s best for your daughter if you can make your marriage work. I know your wife has behaved terribly but is it not worth a go?
Suggest to her that you talk to a Relate counsellor together (relate. org.uk, 0300 100 1234).
You can then decide if you still love one another enough to keep your family together.
If it’s hopeless, Relate can help you part the best way possible for your little girl’s sake.